47 Years, 47 Life Lessons (A Birthday Feast of Wisdom, Served Bite-Sized)
“The older you get, the better you get, unless you are a banana.”
Turning 47 is like biting into a surprise cupcake: you never know if it's gonna be delightful or filled with regret sprinkles. Fear not, fellow birthday warriors! I've whipped up almost five decades of wisdom into delicious, bite-sized morsels. Grab a fork (or a straw, if you're feeling adventurous) and let's dig in!
My 47 Life Lessons in Chronological Order
Age 0: Life is a messy banquet. Embrace the pureed peas and strained carrots. They're just preparing your palate for spicier dishes later.
Age 1: Crawling is the ultimate buffet strategy: maximize access, minimize effort.
Age 2: The "terrible twos" are like a chili cook-off: things are bound to get messy, but it's all part of the flavour.
Age 3: Sharing is caring, unless it's the last cookie. Then, it's every toddler for themselves.
Age 4: Imagination is the secret ingredient to a fulfilling life. Sprinkle it liberally on everything.
Age 5: Kindergarten is a tasting menu for adulthood: sample a variety of experiences (some good, some...interesting), and figure out what you like.
Age 6: Losing your first tooth is bittersweet, like finishing the last bite of your favourite dessert. But don't worry, there are more sweets to come.
Age 7: Reading is a bottomless brunch for the mind. Indulge in all-you-can-eat knowledge and never leave hungry.
Age 8: Friendships are like a potluck: everyone brings something different to the table, and the result is a delicious mix of flavours.
Age 9: Don't be afraid to try new things, even if they sound strange. You might discover your new favourite dish. (Example: my unexpected love affair with Brussels sprouts.)
Age 10: Double digits! Time to start seasoning your life with a pinch of rebellion and a dash of independence.
Age 11: Hormones are like a mystery cocktail: potent, unpredictable, and often leave you with a hangover.
Age 12: Middle school is a cafeteria food fight: chaotic, messy, and occasionally leaves a permanent stain on your reputation.
Age 13: Discovering sarcasm is like finding a hidden spice rack: it adds zest to every conversation.
Age 14: First crushes are like cotton candy: sweet, fluffy, and dissolve quickly, leaving you wanting more.
Age 15: Peer pressure is like a questionable buffet: you don't have to sample everything, and it's okay to politely decline the mystery meat.
Age 16: Getting your driver's license is like ordering your first alcoholic beverage: exciting, but comes with the risk of poor decision-making.
Age 17: High school is a never-ending potluck where everyone brings their drama casserole and passive-aggressive pasta salad.
Age 18: Congratulations! You're an adult. Now go forth and master the art of instant coffee and questionable takeout choices.
Age 19: College is an all-you-can-eat buffet for the brain and the waistline. Pace yourself, and remember: the Freshman 15 is not a myth.
Age 20: Hangovers are a cruel reminder that tequila shots and late-night pizza are not always a good idea.
Age 21: Your metabolism is like a soufflé: it starts strong, but gradually collapses under the weight of happy hour appetizers and midnight snacking.
Age 22: Finding a job is like searching for the perfect avocado: difficult, time-consuming, and often ends in disappointment.
Age 23: Dating is like a tasting menu: sometimes you find a perfect pairing, other times you're left with a bad aftertaste.
Age 24: Living on your own is like being a contestant on "Chopped": you have limited ingredients, a tight budget, and questionable culinary skills.
Age 25: Quarter-life crisis hits like a food poisoning: sudden, unpleasant, and makes you question all your life choices.
Age 26: Friendships are like a well-aged wine: they only get better with time (and the occasional cork-popping drama).
Age 27: Weddings are like open bars: fun at first, but can quickly escalate into regrettable dance moves and tearful toasts.
Age 28: Adulting is realizing that "brunch" is not just a meal, it's a lifestyle.
Age 29: The "what am I doing with my life?" panic sets in like a caffeine crash after too many espresso martinis.
Age 30: Turning 30 is like ordering a fancy charcuterie board: it looks impressive, but you're not sure what half the stuff is.
Age 31-39: These are the "dark ages" of birthday wisdom. It's mostly a blur of spilled sippy cups, questionable fashion choices, and existential angst over mortgage rates.
Age 40: Welcome to the "over the hill" club! Enjoy the complimentary denture adhesive and early-bird dinner specials.
Age 41: Your body starts making noises you never knew were possible. Embrace the creaks and groans, it's just your internal orchestra tuning up.
Age 42: The meaning of life is still a mystery, but at least you've figured out how to poach an egg without making a mess.
Age 43: Hangovers now last for days, not hours. But hey, at least you have an excuse to stay in bed and binge-watch cooking shows.
Age 44: You realize that "comfortable shoes" are not just for grandmas.
Age 45: Midlife crisis averted! Instead of buying a sports car, you invest in a high-quality espresso machine. Priorities, people.
Age 46: You can finally say "I'm too old for this s**t" with genuine authority.
Age 47: Cheers to another trip around the sun! May your wine glass be full, your laughter loud, and your regrets few.
The Final Dish:
They asked me why I'm still here, after 47 trips around the sun. My answer? I'm building my stage for the biggest show yet. The main course is still simmering, the dessert hasn't even been baked, and the champagne is chilling for the grand finale. So grab a seat, dear reader, and let's feast on the wisdom of our years, one bite-sized morsel at a time.
Bite In, Get Winning:
Now it's your turn to dish! What's the most important life lesson you've learned, and at what age did it hit you like a piping hot pizza? Share your bite-sized wisdom in the comments below, and don't forget to tag a friend who might need a little extra flavour in their life.
Share the love:
If this article resonated with you (even just a little bit), spread the joy by sharing it with your network. After all, a good meal is meant to be shared.
Stay connected:
For more bite-sized insights and inspiration, stay awhile and explore the website, check out our SWAG store and follow us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and X (Twitter). Let's continue the conversation and learn from each other's culinary adventures through life!
